Dear Diary,

Humans can certainly be blind to ones requests, however getting your message across in a clear manner so the humans can easily tell what you are upset about can very easily be done in a few simple ways

Perhaps your human placed something new outside your stable, or maybe a different person brought you in, or maybe the weather has changed slightly and you want to let them know about it.

Commitment is key.

Sometimes it’s doing the things while you’re human is not there that makes your point come across much better. Either your human must come and tidy up what you have done or they will hear a story from others which they can feel guilt over others having to deal with.

The occasional poo in a water bucket proves useful when you’re human has not sufficiently cleaned out and topped up your water bucket. Although my new residence has a small water vendor in the corner which I never see my human refill and appears to refill itself once I have drank from it, I haven’t found a successful way to dirty this yet. Instead the feed bucket is always an option.

Of course should you ever accidentally get loose while someone is bringing you in while your regular human is – for some unbeknown reason – busy.

A quick exit in the direction of the stallion is bound to give several people heart failure.

Needless to say my human, the untrainable being that she is, burst out laughing when she heard that I had done this. Not the reaction I was hoping for in the slightest!

What I find effective is moving object within my reach that has recently changed or if I’m just feeling upset. Pushing over a near by chest of drawers or removing the rugs that I can reach from my stable this means that the human must come and tidy up while at the same time think about why I have done this.

In saying that there are plenty of techniques that can be used when you’re human is there.

Cant be bothered holding up your feet for your human to pick them out ? Firstly lean all your weight on to that leg so that your human finds it impossible to remove from the ground. If your human does manage to pick up the leg a quick bite on the bum or back while she is picking out your hooves tends to prompt either a drop of the hoof or a hand swipe in your noses direction. The hand swipe is easy to avoid if you are quick enough.

You can keep it interesting and use the same technique when she’s picking out a back hooves. This shows your flexibility as well as keeps her on alert. Humans tend to find it difficult to pick out your feet while simultaneously keeping all body parts out of reach of a nip therefore this is a very easy technique to deploy.

If your human is trying to catch you the classic “uncatchable” technique must be applied. If you deploy this one you must encourage the others in the field to join in, either by running off and hoping they follow or by bullying them into running with you. It just doesn’t quite work the same if the whole herd doesn’t join in.

My human tends to use the term windup merchant when I do this. In the unlikely circumstance your herd refuse to join in, you can alway have a good run without them and let them be fooled in to being caught but in that case you might be left in the field alone which is not a particularly desirable position to be in.

Finally if you chose to suggest a rearrangement of the furniture, and your human is as rebellious as mine, a word of caution is needed.

Your human may choose to make a mockery of you and not take your demands seriously.